for i_am_emmet

[offtracks]

[Ingo has been in this land for a little while now.

There wasn't any grand cataclysm. No rift that he's aware of. He did not fall from the sky. One day, he simply woke up here, lying on the side of the road with a stranger fussing over him in a language that he hardly understood.

He'd quickly made excuses - which he's quite sure she did not understand - and fled into the nearby forest. That's where he's been living, if one could call it that. How do you cope with losing your home, your people, everything you know, for a second time? How do you keep going when you do remember what you've lost, and know that there's no way home?

For a while, he didn't. He doesn't know how many days he passed in a blur of grief and despair, too hollowed-out to consider doing anything but sleep or mourn. It was his Pokemon who cared for him then. He offered to break their Pokeballs and set them free, guilt-ridden that he'd dragged them away from their home too, but none of them left. Instead Gliscor and Tangrowth took it in turns to go out and gather food for everyone. Machamp built a shelter of logs and branches, and Alakazam sat with him and woke him from his nightmares. They all guarded him from wild Pokemon. There aren't too many, or else they aren't so aggressive here. Once, there was a strange black-furred Zoroark, but they attacked it so fiercely that it never even attempted to become Ingo-in-white.

If not for them, he would not have survived this second derailment.

And it's for their sake that he eventually forces himself to begin moving again. He cannot let them waste their lives on him like this. No matter what it feels like, his tracks have not reached an end just yet.

But where do they lead? His first tentative venture out of the forest brings several discoveries. For one: he can't communicate very well with the people here. The language is one he understands! Sort of! But it feels like old, rusty gears in his mind. Written words are easier, but the people just speak too fast and too much. No one will pause to let him try and translate. In fact, most of the people he sees on the road avoid him altogether. It seems outsiders aren't welcome in this land - or, maybe, he just cuts a rather unpleasant figure. His standards of living have slipped.

And this place! To the east of his forest, there's an enormous bridge made of towering metal and glass; to the west, there's a city that's very similar. He attempts to venture into it once, only to find the lights and noise overwhelming. With a blinding headache, he flees back to the forest.

Maybe if he spent time there, he could get used to it. But what's the point? Why should he start from scratch again, carving out a place for himself in a strange land, when it can be torn away from him again so easily? He can't go through it all over again. He won't live through this a third time. The loss of his memories was probably the only reason he settled into Hisui so easily. As much as he's always wondered who he used to be, he's starting to think the amnesia was a blessing. But he didn't forget Hisui when he came here, so he doubts he'll forget this place if he's ever taken somewhere else.

No. There's no place for him here. He doesn't want to fight to make one. So eventually, after having managed to acquire a map, he forms a different plan. This region has a large port city. If he gets there, and finds a way to earn his keep, surely he can barter passage back to Hisui? It's clear to him by now that he won't find any of his friends or clanmates waiting. There's no going home for him. But however long it may have been, the land will still be there. He can return to the familiarity of Mount Coronet, and maybe one day his bones will rest near those of his clan. It will be no less lonely than living here in the forest, but at least he will know where he is and how he fits.

The first step of the journey is to get through the city - Nimbasa, according to the map - and exit by the southern road. It's an intimidating prospect. There are no guards or city walls, but they obviously don't much like outsiders, and he cannot pass for a local. What, then, to do? He spends a day or two scouting it out. The bustle barely dies down even at night. How do they keep the lights burning so long? When do these people sleep?

Ingo finally decides to set out in the early hours of the morning. The streets are still brightly lit, but at least they're quiet then; most of the people have gone. It should be fine? But maybe he's just developed some sort of aversion to the place - his head still starts pounding before he's even halfway through. It's the sort of headache that makes it hard to see, much less navigate. Luckily, he isn't the only one with a good sense of direction here; he releases Probopass.]

We are trying to leave this city to the south. Can you help guide me there?

[Probopass offers him a floating stone arm to lean on. And they move through Nimbasa like that - a little slow, Ingo leaning heavily on his Pokemon. He's a shadow of the man he was in Hisui: gaunt, bedraggled, shaggy and bearded. He hasn't been eating even as well as he used to, and certainly hasn't been attending to his usual grooming standards. Well, who's left to care how he looks?]

Comments

[i_am_emmet]

What happened?

[Suddenly came from Emmet's mouth. What happened? Where have you been? Why is your memory gone?]

[And how did you come back here if you don't remember anything?]

[offtracks]

[Ingo's brief burst of enthusiasm at meeting Chandelure drains away at that. He should have an explanation, but...well, he doesn't. Not much of one, anyway. He's never known what brought him to Hisui, and he doesn't know now what brought him back.]

I don't know. I was...in Hisui. Then, here. Don't know how.

[Time travel was involved; that was one of the realizations that truly sent him spiraling into despair. But he doesn't want Emmet to think he's crazy.]

[i_am_emmet]

Hisui? Where is that?

[Emmet doesn't know of any place in the region named that.]

[Some more of the Pokemon approach, Emmet's Joltiks come out of hiding to look at what was going on. Its been years, the Joltiks around from when Ingo was here last have all grown up and been given to trainers interested in wanting one. These were all new ones, who had never seen Ingo before.]

[It struck Emmet to realize this as one of the yellow balls of fuzz and static went to also go investigate Ingo.]

[offtracks]

[Ah...what tiny bug-types! Ingo folds up to sit on the ground, both in order to meet them properly and because he's immediately anxious about mis-stepping and hurting one. Chandelure, no longer being held, follows to bob against him still.]

[Where is Hisui? Ingo knows that. He doesn't quite know where it is in relation to here, though. He's got his map of Unova (which may or may not have been scrounged from a garbage can), but he hasn't managed to find one of the world, and Unova isn't a region that was much discussed back home.]

North of Johto?

[i_am_emmet]

You need a plane or a boat to get that far.

[The Joltiks start to climb on Ingo. Emmet looks surprised.]

[offtracks]

[Ingo nods, pulling the map out of his pocket. It's crumpled and dirty; he definitely got it from someone's trash. But he spreads it out on his knee like he doesn't even notice.]

Destination - Castelia.

[He draws out his intended route with a fingertip: from Lostlorn Forest, through Nimbasa, then south through the desert towards Castelia City. Though the map isn't detailed enough to include locations within that city, it's large and on the coast. Obviously it's a port town. They must have ships that go...if not directly to Hisui, at least in that direction!]

[Now...well, he doesn't quite know. Making even this short plan for the future was difficult enough. But it's certainly been derailed.]

[i_am_emmet]

You want to go there?

[offtracks]

From there to Hisui.

[He stares at the map for a moment, then shrugs slightly and folds it up again. It doesn't matter. Ingo's already lost his momentum, and the plan certainly hadn't factored in anybody in Unova who wanted him there.]

[i_am_emmet]

[Another blow. Ingo wanted to return to Hisui? Despite returning. Of course, Ingo didn't remember him. Or remember their Pokemon. But- to only come back to leave?]

[His vision went blurry.]

But- you just came back.

[His voice was small and weak at this.]

[offtracks]

[The sudden tremor in Emmet's voice draws Ingo out of his own thoughts. His gaze snaps up, and he moves as if to rise to his feet...except he is covered in Joltiks.]

I can stay! If - if that's - what you want.

[Is it what he wants? Ingo isn't sure he wants much of anything, except perhaps to be out of the forest. Nothing sounds truly good. A life spent alone on Mount Coronet is one he can at least wrap his head around, but it's vast and lonely. No Lady Sneasler, no Melli, no clan or village to visit. Just him and his Pokemon - and as much as he loves them, he's always needed people, too.

A life spent here, in a city he doesn't understand, is entirely unimaginable. He doesn't know how to provide for himself in a place like this. They don't seem to have any need for anything like a Warden. He doesn't recognize most of what they do have. It's terrifying. But at least he wouldn't be alone. That seems like an awful burden to place on Emmet, but...well, he planned to leave Unova, not Emmet.]

I didn't know.

[i_am_emmet]

You've been gone for years. Every day I thought about you, wondering if you were dead or just decided to leave everyone behind.

[It poured out of his mouth as the tears started to come again.]

When your case went cold, I still held out hope. I kept paying for your xtrans line to stay open just so I could call it and hear your answering machine.

[offtracks]

I -

[Ingo struggles to find words. He understands most of this; what he doesn't is a matter of context ("xtrans line"?) rather than language. But at the same time...he doesn't really understand. He hasn't spent these past years grieving for anything from his past. There was a vague, directionless sense of homesickness at times, but that's not really the same thing. He knows that now, after losing Hisui.]

[That old guilt resurfaces, more powerful than ever before. Ingo looks away, curling in on himself slightly, allowing Chandelure to wedge herself into his arms again.]

I'm sorry.

[i_am_emmet]

Don't be sorry.

[It comes out rough, a large eel-like Pokemon comes to start trying to wrap itself around Emmet like it had done many times in the past, trying to comfort Emmet.]

[offtracks]

...but I am.

[What else is he supposed to say? Emmet is sobbing right in front of him, and Ingo...really doesn't know what to do. He runs his palms over the pleasantly warm and smooth surface of Chandelure's body, and goes quiet.]

[i_am_emmet]

What do you want to do?

[offtracks]

[Ingo shakes his head reflexively.]

[Thinks for a moment. Is there anything in particular he wants to do? Does he even know what he can do?]

[He shakes his head again, harder.]

[i_am_emmet]

...Stay here.

[A pause. As he realized he might be sounding commanding. He wants Ingo to stay here. He doesn't want to lose the man again.]

...For as long as you want.

[offtracks]

No! I -

[His voice is thick with sudden tears. Ingo's frown deepens, and he buries his fingers in his too-shaggy hair, frustrated.]

I do not want to...impose.

[He wants to impose very badly! But this is too much - this, like this, is surely too much. Emmet's the only connection he's got, he can't risk burning that bridge!]

[i_am_emmet]

This is your home.

[Emmet never thought of this place as just his. It was always theirs. Ingo had dishware Emmet hadn't even touched nor packed away. A black coffee mug, always right beside a white one.]

[A room that slowly lost the scent of its owner.]

It wouldn't be.

[offtracks]

...really?

[It's tentative and hopeful. Ingo hadn't thought there'd be any place - any physical space - left that belonged to him. Did they live together? They must have been very close. That thought makes him feel guilty, but...]

Then - yes! Yes, I'd like to stay!

[i_am_emmet]

[Emmet smiles at that. The wound that was made at the idea of Ingo leaving again already starting to stitch itself back up.]

Do you want to see your room again? I only been in there to dust it.

[A white lie. He went in there often to try and keep the little reminders of Ingo fresh. Make sure his tablet is still charged, in case he came home. Sometimes lay on the bed to remember something no mental memory can ever replicate- smell.]

[offtracks]

[Ingo sighs and presses his forehead against Chandelure for a second. Just to compose himself; he feels very nearly on the edge of a breakdown. Which is pretty standard for him lately, but he would like not to do it in front of Emmet five minutes after meeting him! Or at all!]

Yes. Please.

[He hauls himself to his feet, looking a bit pained. Sleeping on the forest floor for however long has not helped his general issues!]

[i_am_emmet]

Want some Tylenol first?

[And before Ingo could answer, Emmet was already heading to the kitchen area. He opened up the cabinet to get a glass.]

[He reached for a glass he hadn't touched in years—one of Ingo's favorites. It felt surreal getting it down again. To get some ice and water for it. To set it out on the cabinet again.]

[His eyes were getting watery.]

[offtracks]

Tylenol?

[Ingo trails after Emmet - not sure what Tylenol is, but if it's food, he could eat.]

[i_am_emmet]

[Emmet stood there for a second, wondering if he heard that right. Ingo forgot what Tylenol was too?]

A pain medication.